I Wish You Would
by Like2CUHappy
Summary: Upon a recent rewatch of Beach Games/The Job, I found some inspiration in Pam's moment with Jim at the lake. That moment just so happens to feature a Taylor Swift lyric, and now you've got this angsty season 3 fic.


**_I Wish You Would_**

 _It's 2 AM in your car_

 _Windows down, you pass my street, the memories start_

 _You say it's in the past, you drive straight ahead_

 _You're thinking that I hate you now_

 _'Cause you still don't know what I never said_

I meant to leave hours ago. Mark insisted on one final meal before I leave him for a new city. It didn't go as planned. Dinner turned into drinks. And drinks into a final game of Madden on the Xbox. The one Mark begged me to leave behind. Now, hours later, and perfectly sober, I pack the rest of my things into my Toyota. I give Mark a final hug, and pull out of the driveway. Five minutes away and I find myself taking a detour. A final look at Scranton on my way out of town. It's not until I see the white pickup in the driveway that I realize where I've ended up. The lights are off, but there's a faint glow that tells me you've probably fallen asleep in front of the TV. I'm not sure how you manage this since I know you keep the volume up impossibly loud. Probably to tune out his snoring. I shake my head, and refocus. It's time to move on. To Stamford. Because you can't.

 _I wish you would come back,_

 _Wish I never hung up the phone like I did._

 _And I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live._

 _And I wish you were right here, right now, it's all good._

 _I wish you would_

Stupid Ryan. I'm still shaking my head in frustration as I enter my apartment. I lock the door behind me and set my keys down on the counter. The kitchen counter in my one kitchen. It's been too long for us to go without talking. The longest it's been since your first day at the office. Our long day of jinx was long enough. And that day almost broke us. Now, it's been months. I know I have myself to blame. You didn't misinterpret anything. I just needed time. But now you're there. In the same time zone, but still hours away. And there's so much left to say. But right now, I wish I'd had the chance to tell you that I miss you.

 _It's 2 AM in my room._

 _Headlights pass the window pane, I think of you._

 _We're a crooked love in a straight line down._

 _Makes you wanna run and hide_

 _Then it makes you turn right back around_

I did get your text. Karen makes sure I'm inside before she drives off. I stumble my way to the bedroom, stripping down to my boxers as I go. I see my phone slide across the floor as I kick off my pants, and hesitantly bend over to pick it up. My head throbs and I instantly regret not leaving it on the floor. The screen glares up at me as I open it. 2 am. I have to be up in 4 hours. It's not until after I set my alarm that I see the little envelope in the corner of my screen. I see your name and am suddenly sober as can be. _Michael proposed to a cheerleader. I know. You're hooked._ I want to know everything, but I'm not ready for that yet. I can't act like nothing has changed. Because that night changed everything.

 _I wish you would come back,_

 _Wish I never hung up the phone like I did._

 _I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live._

 _And I wish you were right here, right now, it's all good._

 _I wish you would_

 _I wish we could go back_

 _And remember what we were fighting for._

 _And I wish you knew that I miss you too much to be mad anymore_

 _And I wish you were right here, right now, it's all good._

 _I wish you would_

 _Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam._ I barely hear the person on the other end as they leave their message. I've been waiting for today since you left. The day you return. Finally I see you enter the room. I'm already out of my chair. You pretend we're strangers. I don't care. You're back. I want to grab a coffee. Catch you up on what you've missed in the city you used to call home. Before you left us without any goodbyes. I had to console Michael for weeks, when I was barely holding myself together. I want to go back to before. But it's when you tell me you're seeing her that I know things are going to be different this time around. Maybe you weren't kidding earlier. We might be strangers.

 _I, I, I, I, I, I wish, I wish_

 _I, I, I, I, I, I wish, I wish_

 _I, I, I, I, I, I wish, I wish._

 _You always knew how to push my buttons_

 _You give me everything and nothing_

 _This mad mad love makes you come running_

 _To stand back where you stood_

 _I wish you would, I wish you would_

 _I wish you would, I wish you would_

It's been far too long since I pulled a prank. Not since I pulled the classic Jell-O move with Andy my first week in Stamford. And now with your help, it's suddenly Andy as the victim again. She'd never help me with something like this. Be my partner in crime. But then I remember that's all you ever were to me. And I wanted to be more than that. I pass off the cell phone, and our hands brush. I'm suddenly transported to that night back in May. Against my desk, with my hand in the small of your back as your hands pull me closer. We weren't drunk. And you knew that.

 _I, I, I, I, I, I wish, I wish..._

 _2 AM, here we are_

 _See your face, hear my voice in the dark_

 _We're a crooked love in a straight line down_

 _Makes you wanna run and hide_

 _But it made us turn right back around_

I wonder if that light brush of our hands had the same effect on you as it did on me. One simple touch, and it's suddenly months ago. In the office, surrounded only by the glow of the computer monitors. I see you before I hear you enter, and quickly rush off the phone, wondering how much you've heard. And suddenly your lips were on mine. It meant everything. But I did nothing.

 _I wish you would come back_

 _Wish I never hung up the phone like I did_

 _I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live._

 _And I wish you were right here, right now, it's all good._

 _I wish you would_

 _I wish you would come back,_

 _Wish I never hung up the phone like I did._

 _And I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live._

 _And I wish you were right here, right now, it's all good._

 _I wish you would_

 _I wish we could go back_

 _And remember what we were fighting for._

 _And I wish you knew that I miss you too much to be mad anymore._

 _And I wish you were right here, right now, it's all good._

 _I wish you would_

I see you glance at me from across the room. And for a moment, I feel guilty for dancing with my own girlfriend. I know tonight's been rough for you. Remember there was a time I was more involved in the wedding planning than Roy was. I know this wedding was supposed to be yours. I'm happy it isn't. I want nothing more than to comfort you. To hold you in that new brown dress. But then you leave with him. And I can't stop you.

 _You always knew how to push my buttons_

 _You give me everything and nothing_

 _This mad mad love makes you come running_

 _To stand back where you stood_

 _I wish you would, I wish you would_

 _I wish you would, I wish you would_

It's been six months of watching you and Karen. And I don't know how you went through years of this. I've been trying to find a way to tell you everything. Apparently this coal walk was my breaking point. I suddenly hear myself telling everyone that I called off my wedding because of you. Your friendship did mean everything to me. And months later, we have nothing. Nothing close to what we used to have. I'm just the receptionist, and you're just a paper salesman. But I'm done with that. I want to be more than that.

I join you by the lakeside, where you're soaking your burnt feet. I still can't believe you did that. The coal walk. The speech. Everything. I suddenly know how you felt last May, when I was the one with the major confession. And you were the one that was taken. It's after your confession that I finally feel the need to tell you everything about this last year. Why I left. How I had to be anywhere but here. I wanted to be not here. It hurt too much. And you knew that. Even still, I feel like I haven't come back. I look into your eyes, and you look back. A response so soft I thought I imagined it: _Well, I wish you would._

 _I, I, I, I, I, I wish, I wish_

 _I, I, I, I, I, I wish, I wish_

 _I, I, I, I, I, I wish, I wish you would_


End file.
